What makes you think you are any better than them?

This is the sentence that God seems to have been reminding me of on a daily basis.

I posted a blog a while back about the harsh realities of life on the streets. Something that I have really struggled with since then, is loving the older boys at Masana. I struggled to pour tea for and clean wounds of the boys knowing full well that the night before they probably bullied, beat, raped or molested one of the younger kids. Every day was a struggle for me. I prayed so hard, asking God to change those boys. I struggled to love these boys and see them how God saw them. I prayed that God would open my eyes to how He saw them.

Little did I know God was going to change me. He was instead going to open my eyes to how He saw me.

This is what God reminded me of. I felt like all He did was ask me one, simple question.

“What makes you think that you are any better than them?”

The truth is. Im not. What these boys do is not excusable. But Im no better than them. Im the same as them. My sin, the things I struggle with seem far less extreme and horrific. But really, we are all sinful. We all have stood at the cross and hurled rocks and mocked Jesus. We are all broken and fallen people. But still. God choses to love us. Despite my sin. Despite those boys sins.

Since I have come back from Durban I have seen God work miracles. He has changed my view of myself. I am not better than any one of those boys. My mindset has changed and never in my life would I have expected to have such an overwhelming love for these boys. My heart breaks for them. Sure, I am always going to be angry about what they do. That will never be ok with me. But for the first time, I feel like I love those boys, just as much as I love the cute little Pai’s and Chico’s that have been so easy for me to love.

This was one of the greatest lessons that I could have learnt. I am just the same as the child living on the streets of Maputo.

He is HOPE.

Some days, I am completely overwhelmed by the thought of my boys sleeping on the street. I feel like every now and then God opens up my eyes to the reality of the street. Those nights, like tonight are full of tears and prayers and cries to God.

I know the boys choose this life. I know that every single one of our boys has a way out of this, but unfortunately for them they are blinded to that. Instead, they choose life on the street. I know the dangers on the street. I have seen the injuries that they get when living on the street. I can only imagine the loneliness that comes with living on the street.

These are just babies. Children, dealing with things that most of us couldnever even imagine in our life times. While these boys are living on the street , a lot of them don’t have hope, they stop dreaming. Part of what God has called me to do here is to hope and dream for them until they catch on to it and start doing it themselves. Today I struggled. I looked at the boys at Masana, my little babies, and lacked faith and hope. (This is not something I easily admit to as “HOPE” is my word. Its who I am. Its what I stand for. It’s what God is.

But tonight, as I cried for myboys outside, God reminded me of howmuch He has done here. He IS HOPE. Yes, tonight the boys will still sleep on the street. The danger is still there. But tomorrow, when they walk through that gate. They walk into a house of hope. A place where they are encouraged to dream about their futures. A place where we have seen God renew hope and inspire dreams over and over again.

My tears are a reminder of how much God loves these little boys. Every single one of them. This is how much my heart breaks for them. Imagine how much their Father in heaven’s is breaking.

" May your unfailing love rest upon us, O LORD, even as we put our hope in you."
Psalm 33:22

Paulo- HOME at last

After a very grueling trip of 3am arrivals, walking for 6 hours and crossing rivers at midnight, Luis and Paulo arrived home. Little Paulo did really well on his trip home. People are not very sensitive and like to stare and laugh when he is having seizures. Being on a taxi for over 10 hours, alot of comments were made about him.

I woke Paulo up at about 5am to get ready. He bounced out of bed and ran to put on his new clothes. He danced around the room after he put every new item on. He put on his back pack and cap and told us this is what he would look like when he goes back to school. As we walked to the car I reminded him that as he leaves his old clothes behind. He leaves old Paulo behind. Paulo was a street child. Flavio is the name his parents gave him. Flavio has a home and a family.

Saying goodbye to these boys is always bitter sweet. I find complete joy in the thought that they are returning home. Prodigal son’s being welcomed back. At the same time though, after getting to know these boys its always hard to say goodbye.

His mom is anxious of getting him back in school and back on medication. She had no idea her son had been living on the street all this time. Praise the Lord that she has accepted him home. In 3 months time when I visit Flavio I am praying that he will be settled in at home, healthy and going to school.

My heart is a little sore that my little Paulo is not in Maputo any more but I am rejoicing that Paulo has become Flavio again.

Paulo returns home

A few days ago I was sitting at Masana with little Paulo. He was asking me if I could give him medicine to take his sickness away. As he asked that he went into another seizure. As I sat with him and waited for yet another seizure to pass I looked up at Luis with tears in my eyes. I didn’t have to ask anything. He knew. He walked straight up to Paulo and asked if we could go visit his grandmother. Half and hour later we were on the way. Paulo had multiple seizures on the way, more than usual. I wonder if the stress and excitement could trigger them off.

Paulo, or Flavio as his family know him will be moving back home to his mother on Friday. He has been staying with us for the last few days. He is one of the most wonderful kids I have met. I am really going to struggle to say goodbye to him. The past few days we have spent a lot of time together. When I leave for more than an hour at a time, I get welcomed home by him running and jumping on me telling me how much he missed me.

Luis and Paulo will be getting on a bus and travelling to his mothers home on Friday morning. He is so excited! He tells me that he is going home at least 3 times a day and has the biggest smile on his face as we talk about his trip to Inhambane to go home.

Please pray for them as they are on this long bus ride. Pray that his mother accepts him home and get’s him back on the medication he needs. Thank the Lord for another precious child who will be returning home to live with his family. God is good!

Paulo, a life on the streets with epilepsy.

The longer I stay in Mozambique, the more I realise how much I am fascinated with the medical issues and histories of the boys that we work with. The past few days we have been dealing with a boy who has a type of epilepsy. His seizures happen multiple times a day and are fairly mild compared to most epileptic seizures we think of. His seizures are called Absence (pronounced ab-sawntz) seizures. Absence seizures are brief episodes of staring. There is no warning before a seizure, he is completely alert immediately afterward, and has no memory of the seizure. He just carry's on playing cards. Little Paulo doest just stare but also has throws his hands in the air and convulses for a few seconds.

Its really hard for me to watch this little kid have his seizures. I gave him a spoon to drink his hot tea with this morning but out of frustration he grabbed his cup and, of course, had a seizure. Hot tea flying everywhere. My heart breaks at the thought of this sweet boy being on the street, crossing roads and alone.

We are looking into what medicine is available for him but before we can give that to him he needs to be at home. He needs to have supervision and needs to take his medication regularly.

Please pray that we can get Paulo home to his family. Pray that he makes the right decisions, chooses home and leaves his life on the streets. I am praying that we figure out how to help him while he is on the streets too.

Little Pai.

Meet little Pai.

This gorgeous little boy is only 9 years old. He doesn't really know why he left the street. A friend of his arrived at his house and asked if wanted to visit the streets. They left and neither of them have returned home. Little Pai is known for spending is nights on the streets drinking hard liquor. He is 9.

Over the past few months we have really started to notice the effects of his night time alcohol binges. He is a beautiful little kid who I have gotten very close to over the past few months. He really try's very hard to act tough but will always come and sit close and will never say no to a little cuddle from "Mana Laurena". His tears and affection remind us daily that he is just a little boy.

Pai is doing so well in school at Masana. This year he learnt how to read and write the entire alphabet. If given a piece of paper and a pencil he will copy everything in sight. What ever words he can find. He loves to learn.

Lately Pai has been on my heart. I find myself struggling to sleep thinking of him on the streets. The thought of this little 9 year old dealing with the horrific things that I know goes on in the streets brings me to tears most nights. This is not how it is supposed to be for this little guy.

But the reality is that the longer Pai stays on the street the harder it will be for him to leave.

God has broken my heart for this little boy. I can't get him off my mind.

I'm not sure what He has in store for little Pai, but I know street life is not in God's plan.

Please pray for me as we work with this little boy. He is a joy. He is an incredible little boy that needs to leave his life on the street. Pray with me as I figure out my role in getting him back home. Pray for him to make the right decisions. Pray for his protection as he sleeps on the streets tonight.

After Dinner Prayers

Tonight was one of those nights where we were all feeling really tired and a little sick. I woke up today feeling like I was getting a cold and was really in no mood to be outside with 5 loud and boisterous teenage boys. After dinner the most beautiful thing happened. A moment I will never forget.

One of the boys stopped us from clearing the table and asked if we could all pray together. Our boys all got around and started praying. Each one of them. There prayers were beautiful and heart felt. They prayed for us and for the sickness and tiredness in our house. They prayed for Sarah in America and the thanked God for changing their lives and asked Him to keep guiding them where ever they go.

I once again, had to hold back the tears. My instant reaction to my flu was to take medicine and stay in bed. My boys first reaction... Prayer.

God continues to blow me away with moments like this. Precious moments where He opens our eyes and let's us see a little bit of the amazing work that He is doing in the lives of these boys.

Overwhelmed with Love

Yesterday was my birthday. It was a very average day that turned into one of the most memorable nights. As we got into the car to go out for dinner Edson put his hand on my shoulder and asked me if I was happy, if my heart was exploding with joy. I looked at him and at that moment it really did. I had my family in the car with me to celebrate my birthday.

Sitting down waiting for our meal Joseffa (Tilfo) and I got talking about God, fear and life in general. As he spoke to me about all these things, about what he felt like God was telling me and about things that he had learnt growing up, I was overwhelmed with love for this boy.

I couldn't hold back the tears. 6 months ago Tilfo was living on the streets. Now he is part of our family and most of all part of Gods family. I could never put into words the significance of that moment. I looked at each of the boys. Each chosen, hand picked by God to live with us. Watching them grow up into young men, passionate about life, God and of course soccer has been a blessing an honour and a privilege. These boys have been chosen by God... They are going to change the world they live in because they each have an incredible story to tell. One about love and redemption and a Father greater than any other.

I cant wait to see what God has planned for these incredible boys!

An honest moment.

Never in my life have I felt more fulfilled and at peace with who I am and where I am. I knew that God had some adventures planned for me but I could never have imagined that this was the life that he had prepared for me. Sure, its not always easy. There are moments every day where I wonder what I’m doing and why God chose me for the job. But over all, this is beautiful. I have been blessed with an amazing family here who I love more and more every day. I get to be a part of and incredible program that focuses on reuniting families and restoring hope. This is what God has allowed me to be a part of.

Since I have left school I have been living off of others generosity. My life as a missionary depends on other people. I have been incredibly blessed over the years to have met people who have supported my passion to serve and love the poor wherever God may call me. I am overwhelmed by the financial and prayer support that my friends and family all over the world have given me over the years.

This year has been a difficult year financially. Over the months I have cut back on as much added expenses I could, including things like much needed Portuguese lessons. The idea of going through some financial difficulties is not something that had scared me before. I have been through times like this before. It’s the nature of what I do. I live with what I have got. Unfortunately this time, things are a little more serious. Really, to put it simply, in just over 3 months my support will no longer be sufficient for me to carry on with my work here in Maputo. If I do not manage to get more support in monthly I will have to leave Maputo. I know God has called me here. I know that He has placed this passion in my heart and I know that I have never felt more at home but I have to face the reality.

Please would you consider giving toward my work here in Mozambique. If you are not able to help financially and are the praying type… Then all the prayers would be appreciated.. Or… just tell people about the work that is going on in Mozambique. Maybe as you talk you will find someone who is willing to get involved.

Posts like this are not easy. Its hard to tell it like it is with out making people feel guilty. This is not a guilt trip. Its just my reality. And my reality is that I have to ask for money.

If you do need more info about the project, on how to pray or how to give please email me on lolnixon@gmail.com or send me a facebook message.

Our growing family!

Our family has once again grown. This past weekend, Jossefa (otherwise known as Nedved or Tilfo) moved in with us. Tilfo is an amazing young man who has walked a difficult road. He is an orphan of both parents and ended up living in a childrens center. He was then taken to go and live with and uncle which he struggled to live with. It was from there that he ended up on the streets of Maputo. Last week Tilfo was living on the street with very few dreams for his future. This week he has a family and a home and we will be trying to get him registered for school. Please pray with us as he makes this transition.

This is our family. It’s a little unusual but its beautiful. God is doing amazing things both in the lives of these boys and in our lives. As we decided to take one more boy in to live with us, it once again struck me how much God is providing for us and trusting us as we walk this road. Although our heart is for the kids living on the street to return to their families, there are always special cases where that is not able to happen. And for our 3 boys, Edson, Felix and Tilfo this was the case. They are all different with different stories but the one thing that they have in common is that God placed each of them on our hearts and in our home.

It’s a privilege to be able to take care of these boys. As we watch them learn and grow and turn into young men our prayer is that they would know the heart of their Father. If you are someone who prays... Pray with us. These boys are growing and learning every day. They are adjusting and changing. May Jesus always be at the center of that. I hope and pray that our home will be a place where each child will find God.

The last few weeks.

I have had a great few weeks here in Maputo. These are a few of my favourite photos from the last few weeks. Enjoy!

Feeling on top of the world after a great walk with Claire

Caramel, marshmellow and Flake Pancake

Wild Horses

Beautiful Views with AFRICA shaped clouds

Ian and Felix at the pool at Macaneta

Gorgeous Chico

Edson full of sand at Bilene

Serious Chico

Finding God in the Swimming Pool.

Both my boys are back at home. What joy they bring to the house!!! Felix has been visiting his grandmother all holiday and I have had to hold my self back from asking my housemates if he can just come home early. We all waited patiently for his time to come home. Finally the day has come!

Today had been a very long and tiring day with school registrations not going as smoothly as we had hoped, shopping in the markets and a late night last night. By the time I had gotten home I was tired and rather grumpy. I had retreated to my room for some quiet time and a little time with God even though the boys had just gotten home. I needed to feel Gods spirit pour over me and I figured that would happen in the silence of my room. I was really struggling to concentrate and was very frustrated that in the time that I needed a little refreshing Jesus seemed to just not want to show up. So, I gave up and went outside to hang out with Felix and Edson. It was there that I found Jesus and the out pouring of His spirit that I needed.

The 3 of us spent some time in the little kids pool my mom had given to me for Christmas. It wasnt planned but naturally when 2 boys see a girl standing next to a pool- she has GOT to go in. We splashed around and laughed and screamed for a while. We lay and laughed at Felix's ridculous comments about sleeping in the water. It was beautiful.

There was a moment where I looked up and watched these boys play and saw the face of Jesus. It wasnt a quiet, serene moment but rather a chaotic and fun moment. Sometimes we meet God in the quietness of our rooms or in worship sessions and church services... Sometimes He is in the laughter of kids playing or in the noise of a childish game. In the midst of all that chaos of water splashing, laughter and screams I looked up and realised that this was a HOLY moment. God was there.

I will never forget the beauty of that moment. How awesome that just by stepping out and spending time with a couple of kids, I can meet and be refreshed by my creator.