This is the sentence that God seems to have been reminding me of on a daily basis.
I posted a blog a while back about the harsh realities of life on the streets. Something that I have really struggled with since then, is loving the older boys at Masana. I struggled to pour tea for and clean wounds of the boys knowing full well that the night before they probably bullied, beat, raped or molested one of the younger kids. Every day was a struggle for me. I prayed so hard, asking God to change those boys. I struggled to love these boys and see them how God saw them. I prayed that God would open my eyes to how He saw them.
Little did I know God was going to change me. He was instead going to open my eyes to how He saw me.
This is what God reminded me of. I felt like all He did was ask me one, simple question.
“What makes you think that you are any better than them?”
The truth is. Im not. What these boys do is not excusable. But Im no better than them. Im the same as them. My sin, the things I struggle with seem far less extreme and horrific. But really, we are all sinful. We all have stood at the cross and hurled rocks and mocked Jesus. We are all broken and fallen people. But still. God choses to love us. Despite my sin. Despite those boys sins.
Since I have come back from Durban I have seen God work miracles. He has changed my view of myself. I am not better than any one of those boys. My mindset has changed and never in my life would I have expected to have such an overwhelming love for these boys. My heart breaks for them. Sure, I am always going to be angry about what they do. That will never be ok with me. But for the first time, I feel like I love those boys, just as much as I love the cute little Pai’s and Chico’s that have been so easy for me to love.
This was one of the greatest lessons that I could have learnt. I am just the same as the child living on the streets of Maputo.