This month my life took the most wonderful turn. After dating Luis since last year, this amazing man who loves the Lord and loves me got on one knee and asked me to be his wife. As the weeks have gone by we have started to not only plan our wedding day but our lives together. I could not be happier. This is better than I could ever have imagined it! Thank you Lord for allowing me to love and be loved like this!
Looking at budgets and houses, beds and appliances it was all of a sudden very clear to me that my life was about to change. There I was looking for a house for just the two of us. Although this has been something that we have spoken about for months and although I am more than ready to begin my life with this incredible man, still my heart aches a little for what I leave behind.
My friend Layne was praying for me a few nights ago and she managed to put my feelings into beautiful words. I feel as if I am mourning the loss of a time in my life. The end of a season. I have been almost like a foster mom for over a year now. My housemates and I took in 3 of the most incredible boys who really became our own. I have spent a large chunk of my time cooking dinners, doing homework, playing and laughing but also disciplining these boys. Our conversations about the Lord and what they have been learning have been some of the most precious memories. I have loved my responsibilities with the boys. And I have loved what they have brought to my life.
These boys have been a part of my life, and always will be. They are my boys. Things are just changing. As I look to a new season of my life. As I am eagerly awaiting becoming a wife and someday, hopefully a mother to my own children I have to learn to let things change.
Change is good.. In this case.. Change is the most exciting and beautiful thing I can imagine! Sometimes with all that goodness comes a little sprinkling of heartache.
But I won’t be living with these boys anymore. And although my role in Masana won’t change, although I will see them all throughout the weeks, I have realised I only have a few more months of 24hour time with my boys.
So I am letting myself be a little sad for the change that will happen in a few months. But REJOICING, and in complete awe of the Lord’s blessing for bringing me the man who I get to love and be with for the rest of our lives. BRING ON THE CHANGE!